And it’s here. I get up I fly around and before I blink it’s 6:12 a.m. This is the magic time for the morning of Anna’s school days. I feel like I go fast, I do so much, but it’s always me fighting the clock.
I’m a good contestant. I wake up and I get going. I know what each task needs and there is NO TIME TO WASTE. It has always seemed like the clock is cheating me. I’ve learned in the past that I must win. I must have Anna ready before any other things a Warrior needs to get done. She is first on school days.
There are two of me. Two people that I must do all things for. Anna and me. I never really thought of it this way until this week. I have two people to get ready to get out of the house or at the least ready for our days), usually at the same time. It’s a lot. It takes complete skill and utter concentration. A time for this and a time for that and no variance.
This week I was really tested. I had physical therapy at 7:00 am for my continued shoulder healing in Ann Arbor, a 30 minute drive on a Monday. I carefully contemplated this the evening before. I came to no other conclusion than that I must get Anna ready at the same time I get myself ready and we must both be ready by 6:12 a.m. Okay, this is doable.
I made sure I was in the shower at 5 am, Anna was on task, it was going well. Until the bus was ten minutes behind. Ten minutes should not break a morning but with us, boy it really throws a ringer in our day. See I hoped to board Anna on her bus at 6:12 then feed the dogs and be on my merry way. The bus was late, which ate up my time to feed the dogs and I knew I was going to be in fight or flight mode. I raced in, fed the dogs, grabbed my stuff, including my coffee and flew out the door. I had 30 minutes to make it to the place that takes 30 minutes. One traffic issue and I would be late. Thankfully I made it in time.
You see in those minutes from 6:12 until 6:22 I’m glued to the front window. I can’t leave the front room and then it ticks by so slowly. I want to move, but if I do the bus will appear and then I won’t hear it and then I’m not on task. I have to see when the bus comes, so I fold laundry or bring something else into the dining room to get done while I wait. But as Warriors know you never have anything to pass the time when the bus is late, you just keep waiting. It’s not even the drivers fault, trains, busy streets, dumb drivers, all perils for the school bus. But I do try to squeeze in every minute while I wait. It’s an imprisoning feeling you need to go but the bus hasn’t arrived. I try to do all I can to not feel rushed but I always do. The clock is beating the Warrior.
I made it to therapy at the exact time. This was a little blessing that was so so good for my Monday. As I drove down the freeway I wondered about all the cars around me. You see we can often feel like it’s only us who have a different morning, a different life, a time when others just don’t understand. Then I thought about how you never know who is driving down that highway. Beside you whizzing by are people who can’t pay their bills, they just got fired, their loved one is in hospice, or just died, they are depressed, they are getting divorced, they were just told they were outbid on their dream home, they were just told their child isn’t going to develop normally, they are others in stress too. . the list goes on. I just try to remember these mornings won’t last forever. And like most things in our lives we miss them when they are gone. I have three more years of her in school and the clock vs me game. I’ll just try to embrace what is now. Which is all any of us can really do. Hang in there, I think of all of you.
