The first big NO this week happens all the time. I’ve tried to let myself stay calm and cool but it is truly so annoying that it sometimes is hard to brush off. It’s the handicapped parking deal. And I know it can happen anywhere, but lovely readers it happens the most at church. Is this truly my test of faith?
Last week, as I pulled into the lot, saw the spot we love where the lift can open and I can safely and conveniently get Anna out . We pulled in. I arrived early enough to be able to get the loved favorite handicapped spot. I got Anna out and was wheeling her to the church door and I saw out of the corner of my eye another person cramming into the area. I saw this car pull in and literally park in the lines next to the place intended for her lift. I stood there. I glared at them from across the lot. I began to feel the anger build up in my chest. I kept standing there, waiting for the couple to look back, not forward. They did not. They just hurried into church. Of course they did, they were late.
I sat in the pew, and I turned around to see if I could see them come into the church since we have two entrances. I wanted to glare at their faces. I could not see them so I started to help myself with self talk that we Warriors need to do in situations like this. The first thing I thought was “Jackie, you are at church, you should not be feeling so angry as you sit here. These people are selfish and honestly unprepared to come in so late. You will just wait there when you leave and see if they can see how they parked and see Anna waiting there. It will have to wait, I told myself.” Then I thought, “What would Jesus do? He certainly would not let them rule this situation.” I calmed my anger down and enjoyed Mass.
After it ended, we went to the van. I stood there, barely any room to get Anna in without hitting their car or almost tipping her wheels over the ramp. I waited but nobody was coming. I thought to myself, do you really want to have a confrontation now? The answer was no. I got Anna inside and left. I did not let them continue to take my emotions (and joy) from me.
I really really wish that people who want a handicapped spot would leave for church on time. Or go to another spot, there are more than one. Anna and I have had other spots than our chosen one, they need to realize this too.
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The second NO this week is our sweet Lily. I posted late this week because I went to see her again yesterday, with Anna. She was still in the PICU, but when I arrived the team told mom and dad she was going to be moved to a regular floor! YAY! This was great news, and even better news for mom, Nicole. Yesterday was this sweet lady’s 40th birthday. So they have spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now mom’s 40th birthday in Mott Children’s Hospital. A tough road to travel.
We had birthday cake and conversation while the girls somewhat interacted. Lily is very tired and fighting sleep as our kids with Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome often do. Mom and dad are very tired and so ready for some answers. She is improving but they are still unsure of what needs to happen to make things normal to be able to leave the hospital.
These are the nightmares of the Warrior life. We live them and we endure them because we are blessed with these sweet human beings that need us to help them fight to get home. It has been many days and many nights to keep hoping and praying. Readers, please keep Lily in your thoughts and I will continue to post her progress. She is this little fighter who was able to be awake this visit. I snuggled on her bed with her and she was aware of us being there. We ate cake while she took very short dozes. I’m praying for continued progress, tolerance for food in her g-tube and some answers.
As I left the hospital pushing Anna through the corridors, I knew the feeling. I saw glass windows to the outside with names of the kiddos stung across on banners the nurses make. Wheelchairs pushed against the walls in the rooms. This floor holds the most fragile of the guests and the most fragile of the parents. There are many of these floors in the world, I pray for all to get better and come home soon. Anna and I made our way to the elevator knowing full well, it could be us.
Thank you for Reading our Blog
You did amazing job with church…. You let Jesus into your heart and he was so happy to comfort you when you needed it. You are lovely to keep showing up at Mott for your friends… sending you and yours our love!