Heaven: I was recently at a Dollar General (with Anna of course). We were having fun shopping and enjoying the heavenly Halloween decor. I am a Halloween Fanatic. Always have been. I can remember being so excited in first grade when we could draw ghosts and haunted houses and of course the witches.
We got in line and before I knew it a very concerned and empathic man approached us. He looked at me and said, “This is for her, handing me some cash.” The amount doesn’t matter. What matters is that someone is so touched by Anna. They see that she has a life that is difficult. They probably look at me and wonder how it all happened. They always seem to be men with cash, just likely wondering how they can help or give. So they reach in their pockets and speak the language of giving, which to them is cash. I’ve learned to call this a heavenly moment. It’s not the cash or the amount as I stated above, it’s the true act of love and kindness. It’s really a rare statement of noticing the troubles and heartaches of others.
Hell: It is with complete anger and hostility that I write this portion. We as Warriors are owned by certain systems. These include: medical companies, rules of school districts, daycare and sports situations, and respite agencies. But the King of the madness lies in the DHS (which I have previously referred to as the Department of Human Stress).
I received a letter about an agent coming to check in on Anna. This letter is like a parole letter. I will be at your house on this date between 9 am and 1 pm. If you can’t be there please call me. Warriors live on parole with these agencies making sure to report what they want or else you end of being stripped of a benefit. You cannot call them, they do not answer! I have had one lady say “Don’t lie to me.” The first time I met her; I had to eventually fire her as I have written before for keeping Anna home and she never showed up. The second lady came in my home with a clip board asking to see my ID and Anna’s ID. When my kitten circled her feet she raised her foot in an attempt to kick her. I have been told there is an office I can go to and check in and then told that there is not. I am told they cannot visit her at school, it must be in the home. Like they are trying to prove that Anna has a home? If she did not have one, how would she get to school?
So I waited home Wednesday during my week of vacation for this “person.” I don’t just sit, I’m a Warrior, I mow the lawn, cook etc. But you know how it is when you are waiting, you really can’t get into anything else. And guess what? Total no show. The lady ghosts me. Of course I call, of course there is voicemail because they have never answered when I’ve called.
So the next day she calls me, tells me they had an emergency and they “cannot call families,” but am I available next Thursday? Yes, I am lady . . . . but now I have to take Anna with me to drop off a dog for grooming, keep her out of school on her second week of school starting, and then drive her into school after. How does this inconvenience you? And oh, yea, have to miss a Toastmasters meeting in which I have not been able to go in person almost all summer.
So this is the hell we live. We Warriors are treated like a number by the DHS. It’s not your own number it’s theirs, like a prison stamp on your back. If you don’t comply you get no funding for your child. I love our country but I am in deep disgust of this so called agency. It’s hard to understand when an agency says they support a cause and they really don’t. You would think they might accommodate families, but they accommodate themselves.
And we turn the page and move into the next flood, the next mess that life brings. We hold our heads up while we maneuver this life and all the fascination that comes with it.
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