The life we live as Warriors is like a maze. This is especially true when you are trying to find a reason for a behavior. A piece of equipment that works, an insurance company that will work with you, a pharmacy, a caretaker, the list goes on.
As you wonderful readers know, we have been trying to work with Anna’s crying and holding her left ear for about two years. You know the tests, CT Scan, ultrasound, blood, urine, ENT, and MRI for TMJ. We never really found anything out. We found marijuana and then Zoloft. Then it came back (Zoloft helped, but not enough). We went back up with marijuana, I asked her specialist can we try something else? We added Gabapentin. We played with the dose. It was three times a day, her eyes began to cross, yeah that stopped. But this struggle is real. I had one more appointment. Another ENT. I just felt something was missed, seemed strange she still constantly touched her left ear.
Paul said, “We already went there.” I told him yeah, but I’m not thinking it’s over. In fact, her ears (much like her teeth) are a hard thing for me. A clenched mouth, a tiny little eardrum. I struggle with these. I need another person to help and I felt like this was not being taken seriously. This is the kid that had about 7 surgeries for ear tubes and an ENT doctor that we visited regularly. Can we be missing something?
So we went to a Michigan Medicine ENT. We waited 6 MONTHS to go. They told me she had to see the audiologist first. I thought this was silly, but okay, sign me up.
We get there and go into the sound booth. The beautiful blonde says she needs to check the ears to make sure they are not clogged otherwise the test will not work. I said, “Great, this is exactly why I am here, she’s been holding her left ear for two years.” I told her we had it checked but I’m still not feeling it’s been really looked into. She looks at the right ear, she says, yeah there’s a little wax. I sit back and wait. She goes to the left ear. She looks, she pulls back and then she says it. “The left ear is 100% occluded with wax. 100%” I smile and I feel relief and resentment toward the other ENT that seriously missed the mark. How can this be? I’m happy, she says it has to be removed before we can do the hearing test. I said, “Great this is why I came.” We go to another room to see the PA. I tell her my story, she seems very perplexed that she’s been this uncomfortable for so long. I said, yes, I am very surprised, yet not surprised, I called this out in my mind.
We get Anna out of her chair and put her on the exam chair. She takes a metal tube like a thimble that goes into a small point at the end. I tell her we need more staff to hold her. She calls in a sweet lady who cheerfully assists. She points the tool in her ear, shines a light into it and uses a pic that is a long metal device with a wire puller on the end. Then she takes out two big chunks from her right ear and six chunks from her left ear. Two of the chunks are jet black. JET BLACK. I’m angry, bewildered, triumphant . . . . .and a mix of several other emotions.
The other assistant leaves. I talk to the PA. She is kind and so caring. We decide that Anna gets to be a patient here every year. She gets to be cleaned out every year. I am on cloud 9. I have been victorious. These are times when being “Right” feels the best.
We leave and I get Anna all set up in the van. I turn on the stereo and for the first time in two years her little sweet body jerks and jumps when the music is on. She can hear fully again.
Years ago the calls would have started, the meetings with the doctor that missed it all, the receptionists trying to help me get in the office and plan the meeting to address the person who was not thorough. Today I just choose my battles. I choose how to spend my time. I sit there in my van and see my daughter really hearing again. For this one the win is enough. The PA is the ticket, the yearly appointment is paramount. I am okay, Anna is so much better. Now, we will see how much marijuana she needs.
It’s been a week and we have gone down from 5 doses to 1-2 per day and dropping.
I am most glad that I listened to my inner Warrior voice. The human instinct is the best predictor in this life and I urge all you Warriors to listen.
Thank you for Reading Our Blog
What I’m reading now: Without any Warning a Memoir by Stefanie Schaffer
What I’m smelling now: https://warriormom.scentsy.us scent circles for my car
What I’m having fun with now: Reading, Swimming and Gardening, and redoing my back room
Didn’t think her little ears could hold that much wax!
WOW! I can’t imagine your (and Anna’s) relief! I’m so very glad this mystery has finally been solved.