Bathroom Blues

It’s not what you think. In fact, we Warriors have to think about it very carefully.  At times plan every move.  It’s not as easy as you would think to use the bathroom with your child.  Of course, I’m not talking about at home, I’m talking about out in the world.  

There are many scenarios to this.  Things that many people never think of.  For example, when I need to use the restroom but Anna doesn’t fit.  You say, what do you mean doesn’t fit?  Well, our church has one stall and one door to the restroom.  Yes, I can get her in.  I have to hold the door while I pull her chair inside.  She will sit with her wheelchair locked while I use the stall, then if someone is coming into the bathroom it is hard to get her out.  However, usually there are very kind ladies willing to help, that is if someone else comes in, if not, we’re on our own to maneuver.  

I can leave her at the church pew if I have someone around me who will “tend to her.”  This doesn’t involve much.  I feel better and it looks better if someone at least sits by her as mom leaves the pew to go to the restroom.  So many times, I’ve held it until I can get somewhere easier to go.  

This happened to me last Sunday.  It was too hard to find someone and it’s a pain to take her with me in the restroom at church, as described above.  I decided to wait until I got to the store.  Well, it got intense so I just stopped at Burger King. 

At this point in my life, I’ve taken Anna’s age into consideration.  She is over 18.  When she hit 18 I decided she could sit in a locked car listening to music on my phone if I had to run in and use the bathroom.  So now this is what I do.  It would take three times as long to get in and out and it might be a small bathroom and if it is . . . well, she might not fit.  

For years when she was young and my husband would take her shopping, he had a portable urinal.  Sound weird?  Well, a man has an even harder time taking a girl in their bathroom and then trying to use the open urinal.  What about other men who don’t want to use it in front of a girl in a wheelchair?  This makes the term “Bathroom blues” much more real.  This is a reality.

Bathrooms really differ in other places.  There are very few restrooms that have doors with a push button.  So you can’t really get inside without using your back to hold the door.  Then you pull the wheelchair from the front towards you.  You hope the restroom is empty or at least nobody is lined up because there will be very little room in most bathrooms.  This is not even figuring out how to get to the stall.  

Then you might be able to take your person in the stall, but likely not.  If you go in the stall you leave your person outside in the bathroom.  In my case, away from the wall or the sink or the garbage, anything that Anna can touch.  She will touch things and then it’s a nightmare trying to wash hands while seated in a wheelchair.  (I don’t always have hand sanitizer).  You hurry up and do your business because you’re wanting to go get them from the main bathroom.  That’s my thinking.  Maybe I’m a bit over the top with Anna but it’s a bit weird to park them outside the area and have them wait.  Although since she’s 22 I’m getting much better with it.    

They might fit in the stall.  This is the best scenario.  I never thought about a handicapped stall for anyone other than the person using the toilet.  But when the mom or caretaker has someone with them in a wheelchair like me, that’s when it becomes very handy.  You need heels on though, I’m kinda short and those toilets are usually higher to accommodate a slide from the wheelchair.  I know sort of too much info but I never knew this stuff until I became Anna’s mom.   

I typically used to wait too long to even go to the bathroom because it’s not the most enjoyable task with Anna.   As I’ve gotten older holding it has caused way too many rushes into my house.  I don’t do this anymore.  

So the stories continue, the bathrooms are getting better.  Do you know there is an adult size changing table in the restroom at The Henry Ford? Yes, hot diggity dog!!! Places are getting it!  They have family restrooms and they are not just for toddlers, they are for us Warriors! This is amazing.  Because, yes if I have to actually change Anna, well, that can be another blog.  

Until then I wish you many happy bathroom tales.