It’s never been intentional. Maybe she’s just a part of me that comes along so much and is on my mind so much sometimes I forget her physically. Which sounds weird. But let me tell you, when a child does not talk, does not say “Mom, get me,” “Mom, I want this, “Mom, mom mom,” you tend to sometimes forget them in simple harmless ways.
The first example:
When I was writing my mother’s recent obituary I proofread it. I had my husband and some staff also proofread it. I had about 5 people do this in total. I then posted it to the world on the internet and the website. About 15 minutes later I received a call from another wonderful Warrior mom. She has a child also diagnosed with Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome. The first words out of her mouth were, “Is Anna not a grandchild?” I thought, my eyes widened and I said, “Oh my gosh I forgot her!” I was literally still talking when I raced over to my computer and corrected the error.
Still on the phone we laughed and I said to her, you know when they don’t talk and you always have them with you sometimes you can overlook them. This sounds weird but (she interrupted) I get it. I said I’ll bet you do. She said I do.
In fact one time she continued, we were going to a fair, locally right down the street (this mom has six children) She said we got to the fair and we realized we left our son in his walker strapped in the living room, we raced back. It was like a five minute thing. Total innocence, and no harm done or ever intended. Panic filled her head because it’s not common, but our kids are nothing near common.
I laughed, and said me too. She listened. One time years ago up north as we were getting out of the car and I had two other small children, we unloaded the minivan. I was walking WITH MY WHOLE FAMILY AND PARENTS and we were a block away at a traffic light when I said, “Oh my God, I left Anna in the car!” I guess the light signaled needing to push her wheelchair, but there was no wheelchair because there was no Anna! I turned back and half ran to the minivan where she was just sitting and playing, not even bothered in any way.
We chuckled about it at dinner.
It is not hard to forget them. They are not newborns who can roll off a bed, or able to get out of a carseat. These are sweet moments of complete intense motherhood. It’s that they are so good and content it’s not that hard not to hear them. They happen rarely.
On the other hand when she has been gone overnight I swear I still hear her. I still think she’s in her room. I can’t shut the door because I need to see her “not there.” This is the level of caretaking we are in. It’s okay to have those sweet moments of brief lapse of the brain. Motherhood does that to us.
The life of a Warrior, a good, funny and sometimes forgetful way of life.
I was recently given a sweet piece of jewelry offering condolences for the death of my mother. It came with a poem. It was inspired by another Warrior mom and I share it below.
Heart of a Warrior
She may break, but she never bends.
She may get knocked down, but she always gets back up.
She may feel pain that most cannot handle, but she nerver runs.
She never hides. She has the strength of a fighter and the heart of a warrior – and she is you!
www.hoperings.com
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