Warrior moms know this acronym very quickly. New Warrior moms may get excited or nervous about it. For those who are not aware it actually stands for Individualized Education Plan. These meetings are to make sure your special education student is getting all the services they need. The first ones are gut wrenching. They tell you all the things your child is not doing, and maybe how they might be coaxed to do them. Then comes all the little details that surround each and every aspect of how they will try to provide the best education for your child. While this is needed and is a good plan for the school it’s heartbreaking and surreal at the same time.
There are times when you are stunned at what is being said, have to argue for more services, or are denied things you have been asking for. As you can see this is alot to take on. Many moms have tears or stomachs full of knots at these meetings. A fellow Warrior mom just told me that she had to take the rest of the day off after to decompress. How do we avoid this? We can’t, it’s a process. It takes time.
I’ve had almost 20 years of these meetings. Last year we had a phone meeting. I loved it. I am blessed to be at a point where all is going well. I do not need more PT, OT, art, visual therapy, etc. Anna is doing well. Her school days are full of great wholesome learning activities and I am very content with her services.
The call came to plan the next IEP. I pondered the idea. I did not want to attend. Is this bad? I just opened up like I can with her marvelous teacher. “Mrs. Lumetta, would I offend you or hurt your feelings if I decided that I’m not interested in being there?” You work so hard for her and the thing is, Anna is doing great, she needs nothing. There is no reason for me to be there to hear it is going fine. Again, Anna needs nothing. I feel a lot of freedom from this idea. I like the empowering idea to say no to this. I feel like the best Warrior mom to say, “Not this year.”
Dear IEP Participants:
Thank you for scheduling this meeting for us without us. I love the date, as it is actually Taylor Swift’s birthday since her IEP is scheduled for at 8 a.m. on 12/13/24. Anna loves Taylor Swift. This is ironic and a fun date.
We know you all are caring for her the best that you can. You too run out of ideas and things to present at the IEP. Anna can plateau. She can be content to keep doing the same things and enjoy them. I hope you can continue her goals without the need to change them, it’s okay at this point in her life.
I’m happy to set the staff free in a form of retirement from this IEP process. Anna is a young adult that is happy and content. Let’s discharge this meeting in a fun way that everyone can feel a great accomplishment in doing so. It’s actually glorious to end this for us for this year and maybe until the last year. I’ve heard at 26 she will need to have one final meeting, we can do that. Right now we will take a sabbatical from the meetings.
We all know the Welcome to Holland poem. I feel like I could come to the end of the IEP process in this letter of truth that gives us all a good feeling of accomplishment, just like the Holland poem. Let there be more mothers who can happily bow out if they desire to do so.
Anna is enjoying life. She loves her new bed, and she gets a kick out of her bluetooth sparkly solar system sky light that shines up her whole ceiling. She is showing off her toys to her little niece, Elsie Jane. Anna is loving the cold weather, cuddly couch moments with mom and starting roller skating again soon in December. We found out I can run indoors on the track with her at the Romulus Athletic Center too. We have a divine new case worker at Community Living Services. We are going to start attending dances at the ARC. This is the good news that I would normally share at her IEP. Thank you for letting me make my own IEP which this year can stand for: “Interesting Extra Parts (a different acronym of IEP)” of Anna’s life. It takes a while to get here, just like the Holland Poem. But we are here. Thank you for all you have done and continue to do to make her school days great.
P.S. She is even rocking her school picture this year! Life is Good.
