Paul and I (and Anna our plus one) recently attended a marriage retreat led by Bridge to Life Ministries in White Cloud, Michigan. We attended the same conference last year and enjoyed it so much we returned again this year. Anna was so good last year and the guests were very understanding of having Anna sit in on the teachings.
This year was not the same. On Friday the night the conference began she was only good up until the class started. Then I could hear her start to whimper and I knew it was only a matter of minutes before she let loose in a blood curdling scream. I looked at Paul and said, “Take her now, go to the room, I guess I’ll have to fill you in later.” He took her away and I attended the rest of the class alone. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, I was very disappointed.
I got back to the room and Anna was tucked in bed asleep and Paul told me that as soon as he got to the hallway the screams and rough crying started.
So we went to bed and prayed for a better day two.
Day two started out okay. Anna sat in on the morning part but we were glad we had a four hour break to go explore. We hoped this would help her cope. One part of the problem is we have to take her louder toy off her chair. We put on a lighter chiming toy and she does not really like it. But, if Anna is content the toy really is not the issue. So it’s a combo of what Paul calls, “Grumpy puss” and not having the right toy she is used to.
We went and explored the town of Fremont. How cute. Great little coffee shops and little small shops to enjoy. Anna held out because the weather was 100 percent perfect with a nice blowing breeze and a nice noisy street. Anna loves action. (which is why the still classroom was not working for her).
When we came back we were sitting on the patio when we realized her stomach was distended and she was likely backed up. It’s always strange because it comes on without any real warning or any reason to be concerned (so her pipes are working down there) but she gets stopped in her gut, a visible distention and she is usually very unhappy. Paul and I wondered how the next session would go.
The next session was good, only because it was deemed “date night” and the couples filled the room playing games and so there was action for Anna. Dice rolling, hooting and hollering, not a sit and listen kind of atmosphere.
We got back to the room, her stomach had gone down and we got a gift in her diaper and tucked her in bed. Paul and I sat up and talked and enjoyed the cozy room, then the fun began. Paul says, “I smell something.” I say well it can’t be her we just did that and I’m not waking her up by checking. I really was thinking it just lingered in the room, there was nothing new in her diaper. I actually said, “I’m not looking until the morning.” Then I sat there thinking how stupid that was. Was I really going to just let her maybe lay there in a soiled mess? So I said, okay I’ll check feeling so confident it was just a false alarm. So I pull back the covers and . . . . I like . . . can’t believe my eyes. She is laying in a pool, a little pool I am not kidding of . . . well, it’s not clear. You get my drift. I’m stunned. I’m mad. I’m sad. I see this little angel sound asleep, I mean out cold and now I have to completely change the bed? Boy, I hate this. Boy, I want to give it to someone else. I mean these are the maddening times. It’s not like we won’t do the work, but come on, really. I didn’t feel like being a Warrior. I didn’t want to take care of this, but you know I did.
We threw away the shirt, it was disastrous. It was her cute Strawberry Shortcake one too. Boo hoo. I had to wake her to completely change everything. It was a mess and a half.
Then the absolute craziness of the whole event made me look at Paul and just laugh. I mean we had spent the last hour with nothing but dirty diapers and lots of mess. I had verbally thought I’d leave it until morning. I started making poop jokes and then we were both almost laughing until we were crying. This is our life. This may be your life too.
She went back to sleep and we climbed in bed too. Thank goodness I have learned to bring big garbage bags with us to any hotel or camper because a diapered adult is not going to utilize those tiny little cans with one liner.
We did have a good time with the hard interruptions. One thing I do in this Warrior life is I say, would I have liked it better if I had stayed home? The answer has never been yes. Even when it revolves around diapers or chaos, we are still making our life workable with a very challenging situation. I would do this trip again, but we may take next year off and stop trying to bring her into situations that might not suit her. It’s nice to try and sometimes it’s nice to stop too.
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Happy October
What I’m reading now: The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker
What I’m smelling now: https://warriormom.scentsy.us Clean Linen
What I’m having fun with now: Halloween and Newly Purchased Land
You and your husband to be complimented! Sometimes we ask God, why me! Then we have to put our lives in perspective. We are living the life which brings honor to God.
I too, experienced many a day and night with my mom’s increasing dementia. She would soil her briefs several times which I had to deal with. Even when she was in memory care the last few years.
We are here to serve others, that’s not what the world is today with self serving. We become dependent upon Gods grace and continue to do good deeds, not for recognition but doing it with compassion for others.
I compliment you and your husband for giving Annie the love that God gives to us.
Saving grace is having a sense of humor. I admire your “can do” or at least “we will try “ spirit. Sending you all much love