It is with extreme pride and love that I title today’s blog. I have had the best experience in documenting our lives. I have so many beautiful comments from so many other Warrior readers. I just recently received this one, “You are my hero.” I am her hero? I admire so many of the mothers I know that this comment melted me. Yes, I became so full of love and wow, like I am living this life, this different life and it can help someone. So many have helped me. I love the journey-hope for this world. Something we need a great deal of right now.
I met this mother years ago, the one who said this. It was at a local park, a gathering I did as a Regional Director for our support group. As we know, the years change things. Deaths, divorce, surgeries, financial woes, etc. Both of us have daughters. Both of us are Warriors. Both of us had the same diagnosis for our children with Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome. So I say Wow, I am her hero? Thank you. A hero saying another person is the same. Heart melting.
You see, I fought so much to get here. Extreme grief and sorrow when she was born. I was in a tough place at the time, addiction, money issues, fear of her, fear of what would come. I met families and I was happy to meet them but they scared me. What was my life to become? The first woman I met was so helpful and honest. Her beautiful daughter all smiles and very medically complicated. I drove home 45 minutes to get as intoxicated as I could because I could not handle the truth before me.
I fought hard. I became a single mom, still struggling with addiction. I encountered life’s heartaches. I pulled from a well of a toxic mother and father whom I thought didn’t care about me. I had a dysfunctional childhood that somehow I thought guaranteed a normal adult life. I thought I’d have normal children. You know one happy family in a storybook way.
I was mean in highschool and I bullied others because I was so insecure. I dreaded getting up some days, I was shocked and scared at many of Anna’s doctor appointments. I was told one time that nobody would want me with such a “complicated child.” The looks of horror in the stores that come and go, the unreasonable needs of life with Anna. Life is hard, life is cruel. I kept reading how to get better, how to help others.
I am that mother now that I met on my first month’s journey. I have the complicated, medically fragile, and very sweet smiling daughter that frightened the living daylights out of me. I can’t travel like I’d like to and create a roadshow to help those like the mom who helped me, but maybe someday. Roadshow of a special needs mom that tries to visit those others who are in the dark abyss this life gives at time. Now that’s a reality show, Taylor Sheridan are you listening? Maybe someday, until then I will blog.
I have come a very long way. I still have a long way to go. But, in the end this beautiful comment fills me to know that I am helping. I think of the others whose stories are the same. I think of the new moms who are scared to death like we were. I am touched and full of love for all of you. The ones I have met and the ones who might cross my path soon, or at least stumble on our Blog.
Thank you for naming me in the group of “hero.” You are all heroes and we can all stand side up and raise our hand, or our surrender flag. Then go to bed and get up and do it again. Thank you dear Katherine and sweet Esperanza-we will have lunch when the time is right, her surgery is over and my arm is usable again. Soon my friend. Thank you for reading our Blog.
“If you are a strong female you don’t need permission” -Lady Gaga
